We decided to have the nikha and waalima here before I leave which means my wedding will be taking place in two weeks, I may be a bit overwhelmed but who wouldn’t be when their future arrived faster than expected. It felt fantastic , I was flying ! Salma and I kept communication to a bare minimum, so we only really spoke when it was related to arrangements, which may or may not mean I ‘created’ some arrangements just so I could hear her voice.
My mother was on her way to a nervous breakdown, family members she hadn’t met for most of my life were upset that they would’t be at the wedding and she was under massive pressure to organise a waalima for when we arrived back home. I could care less about the frills and bows my parents were with me and my siblings and best friend would be arriving soon. I didn’t need anyone else. I favoured a small affair, 20 people max and nothing close to big or fancy suited me just fine. Salma agreed, she also just wanted her immediate family and best friends around. She also asked my mum to teach her how to cook the things I liked to eat. She asked me if she could work a half day once we were in South Africa and obviously I agreed, it wasn’t my place to decide her life for her, my role was to adore and support and I intended to fulfil it. Actually it would be better if Salma was out of the house a bit, my mum was not an easy person to please because she was very set in her ways and my brother’s wife and her got on each other’s nerves to the point where eventually they moved out. It worked out for the best because now they get along like a house on fire.
Mum can be really rigid and traditional, which is usually what we argue about. For example if you cut your nails at night, mum thinks it’s bad luck and I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with luck or religion. It was because in the old days people didn’t have lights and you could injure your self. This was followed by me getting hit with a fly swatter and being told that I knew nothing. This is the problem we have with the older generation, they were taught the traditional ways and told it was religion. As for the fly swatter, it was included in every aunty starter pack. Maybe I should get Salma one just for a laugh , she told me her granny used to always keep one when I told her about mum’s weapon of choice.
Salma is really nice to everyone around her and very outspoken which is what I liked about her from the start along with her eyes , smile , lips etc.
Even with this decision to marry me. She considered her options and discussed them with her parents, who listened to her like her views really mattered and didn’t just make it about them. None of that ‘bheta go sit over there the big people are talking.’ nonsense.
My sister messaged me and asked about Salma. I didn’t say much. I love my sisters but they drive me insane and since they married very wealthy men they think they’re better then everyone else and make it known to anyone that will listen that they live like royalty. The first question I got asked was what Salma looked like. That was followed by whether she was wealthy and if she had a job. Then was, is she like us or is she all holy moly, run for a scarf there’s someone at the door? I didn’t know how to respond or maybe I didn’t want to.
My father tapped me on my shoulder and asked whether I was ok. I told him I wasn’t sure how to reply to Fatima. He shook his head and told me it wasn’t worth the effort and that he would deal with it.
I was surprised that he could whatsapp. The conversation looked like this: “Fati you nosy girl,
Salma is very deen inclined and what makes me happy is that she will elevate my status as a Muslim. How she looks or what she does to earn money has nothing to do with any one. I’m the one marrying her and I think she is smoking HOT! Salma is simple and down to earth not to mention humble, very unlike the two of you. Don’t worry I still love you when you are not wearing your contouring makeup ;p”
In less than a minute she replied: ‘Lil bro we’re still the same on the inside, just more fabulous on the outside now!’
I left it there, thanked my father and headed out for a walk. I could see someone in a black coat following me but I thought what the chances. I wondered if living in South Africa made us paranoid? I turned around and the man in the black coat was hugging the woman who walked beside him. Maybe the wedding was making me crazy I thought to myself and kept walking.
by mumtaz saley