Sadia the waiting game.

Sadia.. The waiting game 

Days had passed and nothing. We had received no news of Abdullha. We were in limbo and it was terrifying and intolerable. 

I was tired of the sympathy and of people whispering about how he must have done something, when they thought I was not listening. 

It was exhausting, I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to be alone away from all of this. Maybe a moment alone to break down and cry would help but I had to keep it together for my children and for my mother-in-law. We just wanted him back and for things to go back to how they had been.

When a person dies it is hard and the loss is heart shattering but there is some kind of closure. Abdullah disappearing was like someone had paused the movie of our lives and there was noway to hit the play button again. I was fast hurtling towards breaking point.

I decided to call Rahim and tell him that I was going to London to try and find out what had happened. We deserved to know what was happening to Abdullah and to our family. 

He sounded dazed and confused. He asked me what good going to London could possibly bring. I was furious, it was as if he had just accepted what had happened. Maybe 2 weeks of loving someone was easier to let go of than years of marriage, two kids and a joint life. 

And whether Rahim was going to help me or not, I needed to go and figure out what had happened to them both. 

I called Salma’s mother and told her I would be heading to London and would need a place to stay. She told me not to leave the children at this point and that there was nothing more I could do in London that the Imam was not already trying to do. He had hired private detectives and lawyers and had been speaking to experts on these issues.

Where does one start? How do you go about something this bizzare?  There is no rule book when it comes to a disappeared person. Lawyers are often unequipped to handle this kind of thing. When all you’re told by the British specialised task team Terrorism Unit is that the person left the UK headed for South Africa and South African authorities insist that they never arrived into the territory, what do you believe?

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