Sadia, London sold my heart…
Rahim and I left for London. I left my kids with my in-laws. I asked Rahim why Salma was taken, she had not even been present at the dinner where Luqmaan created a spectacle.
He apologised for not telling me, he said he didn’t want to add to my stress. I usually travelled with a mahram but no one in my family was willing to take the risk this time. Rahim arranged for me to stay with Salma’s sister while he would go to Salma’s parents. I understood going meant leaving the kids for a long time. Weighing up the children’s needs against my need to find Abdullah was a hardest calculation I’ve ever made. If I had to stay for a very long time, I decided that I would move the kids to London and find a job there until we found Abdullah.
We were hitting brick wall after brick wall. I desperately needed to know what happened to Abdullah. I couldn’t just stand aside and allow this injustice to continue, as a family we had a right to know where they had taken him.
And today it was Salma and Abdullha tomorrow but tomorrow it could be my dad or my kids. If someone doesn’t stand up and fight the system of oppression then it continues.
Were we only innocent until proven Muslim? I agree ISIS was an abomination but they represented Islam as much as Christianity represented the Klu Klux Klan, yet suddenly every Muslim was automatically a terror subject.
If this was my test then I refused to fail it. My family would get justice, we would know what had happened to Abdullah and I was ready to sacrifice everything to succeed.
I was an emotional wreck, somedays I felt like I could get through this and other nights I just wanted to hold Abdullah and have him close to me. I wanted my soulmate back so we could continue this life we planned to share. I missed him and it hurt like hell. The worst part of it was when people told me to be patient, I know they meant well but how could I be patient when my heart was breaking?
I forced myself to forge ahead, after all Allah swt promises us that He is with those who patiently persevere.