Salama 6 months 10 days.
Time began to pass slower and slower. It had been more than half a year and still I hadn’t been allowed any communication to the outside world.
I was beaten repeatedly, some weeks I barely recognised my face. I had been waterboarded and raped repeatedly. When you attempt a hunger strike to improve your conditions you get force fed via tubes through your nose or anus.
I have been in solitary confinement for a few weeks now. I’m no longer aware of the date , day or time.
I prayed for death all the time, I didn’t think I could take much more of this. I asked for my day in court but was denied the request. I tried my best not to think of my life before this, it was easier to black it out. Sometimes thoughts of Rahim filtered through the wall, moments I wish I could live in forever but that was another life and another place.
And then one day I was told that I could write home. It took me many days to think of what to say. I was very different to the woman my family and Rahim had known. I had to be careful , anything they thought was ‘sensitive’ or ‘classified’ would be redacted.
I asked them to email, I couldn’t recall Rahim’s address but I had to ask him to post a letter back as we were not allowed to received emails.
We would have been married for 6 months, but I was taken away from you. My memories of us together have given me hope in some of my darkest moments.
I do not know where I am or how much longer I will be here so I think it would be best if you moved on. You are an amazing man who has so much love to offer and it would be a terrible waste to deprive someone of that love. I may never come home and even if I do I will probably never be the same.
Allah swt is the best of planners and he knows why this is happening to us.
Tell my Parents that I am alive and that I think of them every day and pray that they are safe and healthy. Tell them to pray for me and that I am most fortunate to have them as parents.
They tell me that they will provide you with an address to write back to , please share it with my family.
A single letter could bring light into a dark abyss. I would cling to the hope that I would hear back from someone.