Months, turned into years. We received no information. My accounts were frozen and it took a long drawn out court battle to get them unfrozen. Every extra cent and all my extra energy went into finding Abdullah.
People often raised the possibility of Rahim and I getting married but we knew our lovers were out there and we hoped that they would come back one day. We had become good friends and Rahim was great support and could remind the kids of their father and share stories about him with them.
My kids have forgotten what Abdullah sounds like we keep his photos around the house and often watch videos we had made on our trips. It was a lonely space, no one could understand this predicament unless they experienced it for themselves.
I often sit on my prayer mat in despair, feeling like I have no way forward but something keeps me going. So many questions and so few answers.