Five years of torture, 12 months of force feeding and endless stints in solitary confinement. I had no information to give them. I wasn’t aware of any radical groups. All I had were the brothers around me when I was put into the common cells and the Quran. I had seen brothers memorise the Quran in six months, others learnt arabic, urdu and english in very short periods of time. We mostly spoke to each other in arabic so the guards were clueless about what we were saying. We prayed for each other and we prayed together and we derived strength from our common suffering.
I thought of my children, of how they are growing and probably changing. I wondered if they thought of me and if I would even recognise them if we met again. I often thought about whether Sadia had moved on. Sometimes I hoped that she had found happiness again and at other times I hoped more than anything that she was out there and searching for me. I thought of Rahim and wondered how he was and if he had any children now. Sometimes all that keeps you sane are the memories. The screams that echo in the nights are ones that will forever haunt me.
After the torture I knew i would never be the same and my chances of leaving this place were very slim. Every night I prayed that Allah swt would make the impossible possible and I would be granted freedom. One would imagine that a place like that would rip your faith away from you but this place strengthened our iman and made us grateful that we were Muslim.