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This morning the atmosphere was one joy tinged with sorrow. Ramadan had come to an end, and it was the morning of Eid-ul-Fitr. As we prepared to pray Fajr, a sense of quiet calm and serenity seemed to fill the air as the feeling of contentment fell over me. Algamdoelillah for moments like these. My … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 27

Today Madrassa was thought-provoking; Muallimah spoke about dhikr, something I love to do when I am walking, cooking and especially when I suffer bouts of anxiety. It’ is my way of understanding that Allah is Al-Jaleelu, The Majestic. Muallimah touched on how Allah does not need us, but we need Allah. Dhikr is to remind … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 26

It’s been two days since Mark attacked me, and my bruised eye looked horrible. The swelling had subsided, but my eye was still mostly shut. We had to go to work today, and I was dreading it because I knew I would have to put up with the stares and endless questions. As we walked … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 25

Mark decided to move back in with Mum, and that was my cue to leave, although it was with a heavy heart and much concern. I worried that Mark would nag Mum to death! My emotions were like a see-saw as I tried to write in my journal. A part of me wanted to stay … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 24

twenty-third day of Ramadan! Umme and I were discussing how quickly the days had flown. As I shared with her that I felt I had done too little regarding my lessons and ibadaah, Umme smiled at me and squeezed my shoulders. “You can never do too little or too much for Allah, bethi. If you … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 23

No one ever tells you that getting back into a routine after your haidh is immensely difficult, particularly the fasting. Some say that females are blessed as they get a reprieve. Well, if they haven’t walked in our shoes, then they would have no idea of the difficulties women face regarding getting back into the … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 22

Fatima rushed in the door and caught me eating and laughed hard as I tried to hide the food from her. She wiped the tears from her face, informing me that it was alright for me to eat whilst I could not fast. My reaction was childish, but it made me feel guilty, and I … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 21

Mum was asleep, and I sat on the window seat looking at the neighbourhood I had grown up in whilst making dhikr. It was deserted except for the tom-cat from across the road, liking at his thick fair. He seemed at peace with the world. It dawned on me then that I, too, was grateful … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 20

Grieving was hard for Mum; she walked about the house aimlessly, going through Dad’s belongings, and at times I’d hear her sobbing. She had seemed so strong during the first few days, and I was concerned that this would eventually be the outcome. For me, the difficulty was trying to comfort her. I felt that … More Muslimah Navigating Islam 19